A Girl's Best Friend
Today is National Rescue Dog day and I while it is great to promote adopting rescue pets, it seems right to also acknowledge how they often rescue their people too. The popular pro-pet adoption decals that ask "who rescued who?" is true.
While I was young my grandparents had a little golden dog, half cocker spaniel and half golden retriever, that they had rescued from a shelter. They went in to get one of her puppies, but my dear grandma fell in love with mama dog eand named her Heidi before they even handed over their adoption fee.to take her home
Heidi was an ornery dog who didn't care for strangers or children. She had been very abused and it showed in her behavior. My grandmother was scared when I met her as a baby, barely walking, but we fell in love instantly. My grandparents told me stories about how I would crawl up to that food aggressive dog's food bowl while she was eating and she'd move away to let me play with her kibble. When my grandpa took me on walks with Heidi she stayed by my stroller and growled at anybody who came too close to me. I often lived with my grandparents, so Heidi became my dog, and my best friend.
In kindergarten she was the only person I spoke the truth about our all too friendly neighbor to. She's the only one who knew my painful secret and she provided the soft blanket of fur I needed to sob into as a little scared kid who couldn't process what was happening.
Many family get-togethers were spent hanging out with Heidi, who had to be locked away during them, to avoid relatives who made racist remarks about my biological father, got into loud arguments with each other, and to hide from the piercing eyes of my pedophile uncle.
As I grew that dog became my constant companion, going on adventures in the small patch of forest behind my grandparent's house where I tried to pretend my life wasn't as bad as reality made it feel. To a child trying to process trauma alone a friend like that is of immeasurable value.
Dogs don't give judge, criticize, laugh, pity, and they don't even give advice. They listen. They wag their tails. They let you sob into their fur. They keep your secrets and they accept you for who you are.
When my oldest daughter was small I adopted a sickly little black and white beagle mix from the shelter. She named that dog Pandora, and like Heidi and I, they became fast friends. Later in life, when I made the mistake of allowing an abuser to stay in my home, that dog provided the safe person for my child that Heidi had provided for me.
Pandora was my child's constant companion, the keeper of her secrets, the one who watched over her while she slept, and the provider of a paw to hold and a furry shoulder to cry on. Sometimes I try to ease the pain of the guilt I have for failing to recognize the signs of abuse earlier by about her having that little rescue dog for support.
Pandora was my friend too, but I also had a recipe dog who was my protector and shadow during the time we were with our abuser, and she taught me a difficult lesson.
https://thelotusbloomsinmud.blogspot.com/2017/09/walk-mile-in-someone-elses-moccasins.html
When my daughter had the panic attack that led to her reporting the abuse she had silently gone through I faced an even harder choice. I had to show my little girl that she mattered more than anything and that I would have never stayed if I had known he had hurt her. We fled the house that very day and went to a domestic abuse shelter that we had been getting help from for years.
Pandora had been one of the reasons we didn't stay in the shelter earlier. When our abuser's temper was too much, which was often, we started at friend's houses and tried to take Pandora with them were could. I knew I believed my daughter and she proved that her fear of the man who abused us both was genuine when she sobbed into Pandora's fur to say goodbye before dumping her entire bag of food into the floor because we didn't know when we would be able to return. She said we had to go to protect heart sister, she refused to stay in that house or anywhere our abuser could find us for another minute. And so we left. And our little rescue dog, who had provided years support to my daughter was in need of rescue herself once again. It is a cruel and undeserved world for such a good dog.
Luckily, the domestic abuse shelter provided us with the name of a shelter that takes in the pets of abuse victims and houses and cares for them until they have a home no matter what. They do not care if the dog is old or "unadoptable", they don't turn them away and they don't euthanize them. While we went to a shelter of our own Pandora went to another shelter. All I know is that I will never be able to repay that dog for providing support for my daughter during her abuse and in a fair and just world they would have never had to face such an undeserved separation.
Happy National Rescue Dog Day to every canine in need of a home, every one who has found one, and especially to those best friends who provide trauma support with and without training. And a big thank you to the organizations and individuals who rescue pets, especially those who are the silent and often overlooked victims of domestic abuse.
Pandora, what you did for my child can never be repaid, and you will be forever loved. You are one of the goodest girls.
Comments
Post a Comment